Rogue turkey meatloaf

REGION: American pantry assemblage INGREDIENT I'VE NEVER USED BUT WILL GLADLY USE AGAIN: This was an amalgamation of things I've had in my fridge, so nothing was really new, but that shouldn't stop you from throwing in an unknown ingredient!

RECOMMENDED CHEF's JUICE: The revered Ina Garten suggests a Chardonnay, but I shy away from headache juice. I think a cold beer will do you well with this one.

NUMBER OF GLASSES CONSUMED IN THE COOKING PROCESS: We are in the thick of winter. Drink for warmth!

WHY ROGUE?: So glad you asked! Having tried and tested no less than 5 recipes (!) I became (mistakenly) confident in my ability to chef. I cannot recommend the output, but it's the input that counts, right?!

OH dear chefs, let's not call ourselves that, yet. It's hard, though, to temper the excitement that comes of edible results in kitchen cooking. So much so that I got ahead of the game and thought 'I DON'T NEED A RECIPE! I CAN PAIR FLAVORS! I CAN COOK CREATIVELY!' It's important to note that this is a GOOD attitude to have! Cook on you wonderful chef you! Just... practice a bit more? Because if not what follows is a brick of ground turkey fashioned to look like a meatloaf but taste like a brick-o-meat. If brick-o-meat sounds appealing you are in luck! I will detail my attempts below. If not, learn from my mistakes and treat yourself to another glass of chefs juice.

Note: this wasn't all free-form. I borrowed from our past recipe (See: "Chicken Charlemagne Overcooked Disaster of 2015") to make some sides. I took liberties with the potatoes (and potentially improved upon them - huzzah!) and inadvertently destroyed the vegetables (I cannot stress the importance of knowing the difference between a turnip and a rutabaga at the point of sale).

First glass already consumed? Good for you. Grab another. Let's destroy a staple recipe in every American home and inadvertently elicit childhood memories.

Here's what you'll need:

Yellow onions

Worcestershire sauce

chicken stock (recommended - I used water which tastes nothing like chicken)

Tomato paste

Ground turkey

Bread crumbs (I used panko because I thought it might speak to Hiro's Japanese heritage)

Eggs

Ketchup (an ingredient I refuse to use, but only because I don't like the taste. This may improve your loaf so consider including it!)

Turnips

Carrots

Russet Potatoes

Parsnips (hello again friend!)

Garlic clove

Here's what you'll do:

I went off the book, but you may want to defer to the sage words of Chef Garten. Think back to what you've learned and reuse some side dish recipes from here. Mastery requires patience and time dear trainee. No shame in trying and trying again.

TIP: Look, I'm pleased that we are trying to work off intuition but it doesn't hurt to cross-reference our efforts with some existing guidance. For the mashed potatoes I wanted a more creamy texture. I also just wanted something more... memorable so I did a quick study on how to quickly roast garlic. Do this! Do this all the time if for no other reasons than to leave your kitchen smelling fragant. Taste is mostly smell, so if there is remnant garlic smell in the air your brick-o-meat may suddenly become more appealing!

PITFALL: You can never be too careful in the root vegetable aisle! Just because they grow underground doesn't mean that they will all pair well together, and especially doesn't suggest that a rutabaga can easily replace a turnip - especially if not intentionally! That said, I mistook a rutabaga for a turnip. This isn't the worst thing that could happen to us, but it does slightly spoil my chef's confidence. So, know your roots. The folks at oh my veggies have a guide to root vegetables. So give it a deep (pun!) read and honor your turnip.

WHAT WORKED: This chef needn't be SO self-deprecating. It's important to acknowledge (and toast to!) the small kitchen victories, so allow me a brief boast: the mashed potatoes were memorable! Build off your smashed potato base from our earlier chicken adventure (parsnips and all!) but this time add milk / cream and roasted garlic! All you need to do is squeeze the garlicky pulp out of the cloves and stir them into your potato mixture and VOILA! Potatoes you can stand behind - but I'd advise sitting because you deserve a seat at the table you magnificent chef, you!

VERDICT:

Hiro-san laid it on thick. This is the best meatloaf I've ever tasted! I could eat this the rest of my life! This meatloaf is the 8th wonder of the world! If I may intimate a secret for all aspiring chefs: your partner may be effusive with praise. This is sweet and will surely raise your chef spirits, but how will you know when your food isn't as good as it can be? I recognize that sweet praise-hungry Hiro doesn't want to hurt my feelings so I corner him into honesty. The next time your partner takes a bite and says "THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER EATEN!" or its equivalent, thank them and confirm that you will forever make this dish the same way for the rest of your life. They will fall like a house of recipe cards. Hiro quickly let me know that it could use some salt, less brick texture, and WTF is up with the turnip?

Again, small victories everyday. Until tomorrow be good, be honest, and look both ways in the root aisle.

#turkeymeatloaf #inagarten #turnips #roguecooking